A LETTER FROM MY TOILET TO PETER LUGER

1:20am tuesday march thirtieth 2004

Dear Mr. Luger,

I am writing to express my utmost happiness and complete satisfaction with you and your operation. this evening my renters, steve and vicki, visited your fine establishment for a dinner to commemorate steve's recent twenty-seventh birthday.

about two hours after returning, steve gave me a bountiful gift. I savored the powerful flavors of medium-rare steak, the greasy goodness of the fried potatoes, and of course the potent 1-2 punch of raw onions and creamed spinach.

of course I enjoy steve's presence every day when he stops in with gifts for me, but tonight's was especially rewarding and fulfilling.

thanks again,
Toilet